How to stop worrying what others think

Do you ever find yourself caring a bit too much about what others think, to the point where you hold yourself back in life? You might overthink what you’ve said or struggle to make decisions in case it’s the ‘wrong one’,

The first thing to know is this…there are hundreds of different versions of you in people’s heads. Everyone sees things through their own lens, so one person might see you completely differently from someone else. Isn’t that comforting to know? It means the most important view is what you think of yourself!

When you let go of the weight of what you think others believe about you, you become free to be who you truly are. This is about unlearning old ways and releasing the beliefs that no longer serve you. Here are some steps to change how you feel.

Acceptance

The first step in changing things is to accept that humans will always have opinions, and that others see you through their own limited lens. Their perception of you is often incomplete and inaccurate. They don’t know your struggles, your backstory, or everything you’ve overcome. When you realise this, it frees you from the need to be liked by everyone or  to be ‘perfect’.

Use tools like breathwork to feel ‘safe’ in your body

Even though you can’t control what others think, it’s easy to attach too much meaning to their opinions. This often shows up as anxious thoughts, self-criticism, or worrying that you’ve said or done something wrong. You might even talk yourself out of doing something, which fuels more negative self-talk. This is because there is some part of you that currently doesn’t feel ‘safe’ showing up as yourself. To create a feeling of safety in your body and lessen any emotional charge, use tools like breathwork. Breathwork helps to calm and regulate your nervous system. A great time to practice is first thing in the morning as it sets you off for the day feeling calm and grounded.

Understand where it stems from

It can be reassuring to know that worrying about what others think, self-doubt, or lack of confidence isn’t about the present moment. These feelings often stem from long-held beliefs about yourself or how you think others see you. These beliefs are often formed in childhood or through repeated experiences where you felt unseen, unsafe, or unworthy. Even if change doesn’t happen instantly for you, knowing that these patterns are learned and not who you truly are shows you it’s possible to start to shift how you see yourself.

Know who you are

When you know who you are, confidence grows naturally. Instead of falling into self-doubt, you simply notice what feedback is helpful and what to let go of. Knowing who you are, or developing a sense of self means getting clear on your values, interests, and what’s important to you. When you’re clear on this, other people’s opinions carry far less weight. Write down what matters most to you (e.g., family, creativity, health, adventure). Think about how you currently spend your time and energy. Are your actions aligned with these values?

Hope this helps xx

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